Thursday, September 3, 2015

An anxiety attack is like... It's the worst!

Anxiety Level today: Very high

Today I started freaking out because I had no place to stay. I was going to try to leave religion out of the blog but I still wanna share this experience. 

A few days ago my bishop called me. He said that he had been thinking about me lately and wanted to know how I was doing and if there was anything I needed. I explained to him my tough situation but that I had a place to stay the next couple nights. He asked if there was anything I that he could do for me right then. I told him I was okay for the moment. He said if I ever needed anything at all to call him 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. He asked if he could call in a few days to check on me. I said that would be great. Today I had to leave my friends grandparents house because they were going out of town and they were going to have family coming in and out of their house. So we got up at like 7 and helped change the sheets and got all of our stuff. We were gone by 9. We went to the Library like we have been and I finished the first Princess Diaries book and I just barely finished the second. While at the library it was getting later and later and I was getting no where with trying to find a place to live. That is when I started freaking out. Here is a text conversation I had with my mom. 

This was me during my anxiety attack. I have a prescription that I only use when I have "significant anxiety flare ups" I can take up to 2 a day but no more than 5 in a week. It can be very addicting. I took it and like 20 minutes later I felt better. So I went back to reading then it got much later and I started freaking out again. The library was closing in less than an hour. I called my mom and I told her my fears she told me to call my bishop. I started freaking out just thinking about it. What if he says he can't do anything? What if he's busy? What if he doesn't want to help? What if he ignores my call? 
I know that some of these thoughts are irrational but I can't shake the feeling that something is going to go wrong. My mom eventually said she'd call him. I didn't want her to because what if he thinks I'm just a child that needs my mom to do things for me. I was against it at first but I knew that he needed to be called so I tried not to think while I sent my mom his number. He called me back and asked what he could do for me. I told him how I wasn't quite old enough to check into a hotel and asked if he knew of anywhere that I could stay. He asked if I had the cats because I had mentioned them a few days before. I said no and he said he'd call me back in a few minutes. Five minutes later he called and said to come to a specific hotel and that he got us a room. I was so grateful that I started crying. I was praying so hard that day that things would be okay and they were. I'm in the hotel room now. My little brother is reading my blog as I am typing this. He mentioned a typo here and there which I will probably be fixing. For the record, I only have one brother. He is awesome. I really wanna read the Captain America civil war comics, not because of the movie, but because it's what comes next in the Vol 5 that I'm reading. I tried ordering the graphic novel on Amazon a while back but it was out of stock. I guess I'll half to wait. Cap makes me so happy I love him so much and I also love Chris Evans. I really hope I can meet him. Hi Adam! That's all folks!

-Emily