Anxiety level: through the roof
Adam was taken to ICU and was only allowed 2 visitors at a time; the room was much smaller. He stayed about the the same for a long time then his liver started getting a little better. I didn’t really want to leave Adam but I needed some sleep and I needed to separate my self for just a little bit. Going home made is feel a little more real. My friend Jenny picked me up because I didn’t want to be alone and brought me Panda Express. We ended up giving it to my mom and going back to get more. It was really nice to have friends for support. I texted my friend Paloma too and asked her to bring my other friend Stella if she could. I met Jenny’s cat Ollie and he was amazing. He made the same expressions as my Sephora but loved pets like Bucky. We met Paloma and Stella at my place. It was really nice to be distracted for a while but my heart hurt every time I thought about Adam. Stella was able to stay the night with me and slept in my moms bed. We played video games until pretty late. I didn’t think I would be able to sleep but the game I was playing on my phone distracted me just enough to let me sleep. I am really grateful for my friends. If you’re reading this, thank you.
Wednesday, May 9, 2018
Tuesday, May 8, 2018
Waiting pt 2
Anxiety Level: Still No Words
After Adam’s friends came we were able to get him a blessing. It was really nice. My mother and I got one too. It was really comforting. They tested for all the most common overdoes medicines and we waited. The doctor said that they don’t have a antidotes for a lot of medicine and that his liver and kidneys would just have to get rid of whatever he took. We waited. Quite a while later they came back with the test results and they some kind of Tricyclic in his system but they didn’t know which one. Nothing else showed up.
He was going to be moved to ICU soon so we talked to the ICU doctor, he said that he his liver was in bad shape as if he overdosed on Tylenol. It was possible that he took something a few days ago and that it’s not showing up until now. I didn’t think so since me and Adam had a lot of fun on Saturday and he bought and ton of comics and had me order a graphic novel for him.
We went to my dads house to look through all of the medicine in the house and brought it to the hospital to show the the doctor all the ones we could find. We got back with all the medicine and we waited.
They took him up to ICU to set up and we waited.
After Adam’s friends came we were able to get him a blessing. It was really nice. My mother and I got one too. It was really comforting. They tested for all the most common overdoes medicines and we waited. The doctor said that they don’t have a antidotes for a lot of medicine and that his liver and kidneys would just have to get rid of whatever he took. We waited. Quite a while later they came back with the test results and they some kind of Tricyclic in his system but they didn’t know which one. Nothing else showed up.
He was going to be moved to ICU soon so we talked to the ICU doctor, he said that he his liver was in bad shape as if he overdosed on Tylenol. It was possible that he took something a few days ago and that it’s not showing up until now. I didn’t think so since me and Adam had a lot of fun on Saturday and he bought and ton of comics and had me order a graphic novel for him.
We went to my dads house to look through all of the medicine in the house and brought it to the hospital to show the the doctor all the ones we could find. We got back with all the medicine and we waited.
They took him up to ICU to set up and we waited.
He’s in Critical Condition pt 1
Anxiety Level: No words.
Yesterday my dad went to wake my brother up for work and he wouldn’t get up. My dad tried pouring cold water on him and nothing but he was breathing. He was rushed to the hospital.
I answered a call from my mom at 8:08 am telling me what had happened. I was in shock. I got up and went through the motions but it didn’t feel real. My mom was visually upset and crying while I was just there. We waited for a while and I was really anxious.
The doctors let us in to ask us the medicines he had access to. We talked about how he had depression and had a fight with my dad the night before. We were told that it looked like an overdose and that gag reflex didn’t work so the doctors were afraid he was going to choke; he had a tube put down his throat so that he wouldn’t. We had to go back out to the waiting room.
We waited for a while and I was still just not there. We were finally let in and the doctor explained everything again and said that he is in critical condition. He also said that when they talk about someone being on life support, this is what they mean. The breathing tube.
The doctor left and the was in and out I asked him to wake up and the nurse said he couldn’t wake up, he was in a medically induced coma. 5 or 10 minutes later it hit me, I told him that I needed him and kept asking over and over “Why didn’t you call me??” I was sobbing it. I would go into sobbing fits and then stop. I remember I really had to pee. I was trying to get into his phone to see if he googled anything but I didn’t know the passcode. I thought I did at first until I realized he had a 6 digit passcode. I was going to try to start and 1 and try to guess the last 2 numbers. Then the whole passcode was just in my head. I tried it and it worked. It was amazing. I didn’t find anything on his phone but I was able to message his friends. They all came immediately.
It was nice to have so many people around that loved Adam. It helped me feel better.
Yesterday my dad went to wake my brother up for work and he wouldn’t get up. My dad tried pouring cold water on him and nothing but he was breathing. He was rushed to the hospital.
I answered a call from my mom at 8:08 am telling me what had happened. I was in shock. I got up and went through the motions but it didn’t feel real. My mom was visually upset and crying while I was just there. We waited for a while and I was really anxious.
The doctors let us in to ask us the medicines he had access to. We talked about how he had depression and had a fight with my dad the night before. We were told that it looked like an overdose and that gag reflex didn’t work so the doctors were afraid he was going to choke; he had a tube put down his throat so that he wouldn’t. We had to go back out to the waiting room.
We waited for a while and I was still just not there. We were finally let in and the doctor explained everything again and said that he is in critical condition. He also said that when they talk about someone being on life support, this is what they mean. The breathing tube.
The doctor left and the was in and out I asked him to wake up and the nurse said he couldn’t wake up, he was in a medically induced coma. 5 or 10 minutes later it hit me, I told him that I needed him and kept asking over and over “Why didn’t you call me??” I was sobbing it. I would go into sobbing fits and then stop. I remember I really had to pee. I was trying to get into his phone to see if he googled anything but I didn’t know the passcode. I thought I did at first until I realized he had a 6 digit passcode. I was going to try to start and 1 and try to guess the last 2 numbers. Then the whole passcode was just in my head. I tried it and it worked. It was amazing. I didn’t find anything on his phone but I was able to message his friends. They all came immediately.
It was nice to have so many people around that loved Adam. It helped me feel better.
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